The scariest thing about Halloween was the Jack O’ Lantern in the Oval Office or maybe it was the White Sheets. #DumpTrump

by Helen Philpot

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:

Margaret, what the hell is happening? Nazi’s are fine people. Russia poked me on Facebook. The Real Housewives of Trump Tower are fighting over who’s the real First Lady. And now the Civil War wasn’t about slavery. Has everyone gone insane?

We had an opportunity to have an honest conversation about racism and once again Trump screwed it up. Those football players are kneeling for a reason and it has nothing to do with the flag. And then we had an opportunity to have an honest conversation about gun violence and once again the Republican Party made it about… turned it into… changed the topic to… wait a minute. They didn’t do anything. They just left it hanging out there. It’s just bat shit crazy if you ask me.

And now we are debating the civil war? Again? I know for damn sure we had that conversation a long time ago and it ended with freeing the slaves and a dead president. Compromise? John Kelly says it was about lack of compromise? General Kelly, with all due respect, what was the acceptable compromise? The South could keep the slaves, but they had to give them weekends off? My God is anyone in the  Trump White House not a racist? They’ve got more white sheets than a Motel 6 in Pulaski, Tennessee.

The other day I saw John Kasich on TV talking about his dissatisfaction with the Republican Party and I thought maybe we could find something to agree upon. But then he said that he had no idea what Democrats stood for and I was reminded that Kasich is still an asshat.

Mr. Kasich here is what Democrats stand for.  It’s not a secret.

Affordable healthcare for all.  Period.
Common sense gun control because you don’t need an assault rifle to kill a deer.
Immigration reform.
Equal pay for equal work.
A woman can be trusted to make her own healthcare decisions.
Sex education reduces unintended pregnancies.
Love is color blind and gender neutral.
Global warming is not a Chinese hoax even though Trump has more chins than a Chinese phone book.   (Was that racist or just a clever play on the word chin being Chen is the 5th most common Chinese surname?  Actually it was a joke about Trump being a fatass which has nothing to do with global warming unless you count the amount of gas Trump releases from his fat ass daily.  Surely there is a scientist who can tell us what harm that is causing.  You know what?  Never mind.  Just get us back into the damn Paris Climate Agreement.  That’s what I meant to say, really. )
Happy Holidays is a lovely thing to say to someone when you want them to have a Happy Holiday.
Every child should have access to a quality education.
College should be affordable.
Coal is stupid.  (see Chen reference above)
Slavery was bad.
Nazi’s are not fine people.
Trump is a moron. (Which makes Rex Tillerson an honorary Democrat)

I’m sure I’ve left a few things out, but I think that’s a pretty good list to start. And I imagine if you read the comments below, you’ll learn a few more things we Democrats stand for.

I think the real question is what do Republicans stand for?  Because it appears they stand for greed, racism and coal. I’m not sure if you know this, but Donald Trump Jr. tweets bullshit about as well as his father. Last night he tweeted out a picture of his adorable daughter with her Halloween candy. He commented that he was going to make her give half of it away to children who didn’t go out because it’s never to [sic] late to teach her about socialism.”  Now I don’t know about you, but where I come from a child giving away half of her candy to other kids is called sharing and it’s a very charitable thing to do.  But bless their hearts, the Trumps know nothing about charity.  Maybe it would be a better lesson to have her get 99% of the candy and just wait to see how long it takes for some of it to trickle down to the poor kids she hangs out with. Or better yet, have her pledge to give 25,000 pieces of it to a Gold Star Father and then forget to do it. Oh.  I know.  Teach her to take the candy from other children and then give it away herself so she can tell everyone how charitable she is and maybe take a tax deduction and then hide her tax returns.

When I was a little girl, if you ran into someone like Donald Trump or Donald Trump Jr. you would conclude that they were not right in the head. Now I have a feeling that little expression is no longer politically correct, but in this case, it is medically correct so I could stand by it. Instead, I’ll try not to offend anyone and just say that Donald Trump is not normal, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  He’s about 9 eggs short of a dozen.   A small fries shy of a Happy Meal.  A Saturday devoid of a weekend. He’s only got one oar in the water. If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose. So dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel… Awe hell. The man’s an idiot and so is his son, Slow Donnie.

Might I remind all of you Republicans out there that your candidates insulted one another’s wives and compared penis size. And then you went and elected the disgusting one who admits to assaulting women. Last time I checked, Democrats didn’t nominate Harvey Weinstein.

I’m a little tired of everyone trying to make sense out of this President. He ain’t right in the head. I mean it really.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:

Helen, dear, I don’t want to take the chance of offending anyone so I’m donating to Goodwill my Robert E. Lee potholder I bought in Charleston in 1962. The color doesn’t go with my kitchen anymore anyway.


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