Which comes first, the chicken or the vagina?

by Helen Philpot

Margaret, I’m old and I’m tired. I thought I was ready to hang my quill up for good and then Rick Perry had to open his mouth again and let a whole lot of stupid fall out.

When will that man realize that his brain is older and more tired than even mine?

Last month Perry compared being gay to being an alcoholic. This from a man who is so light in his loafers that his feet haven’t touched the ground since he got a C in Animal Breeding at Texas A&M University.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you — his being light in the loafers that is. His many C’s and D’s in college is a different story. Indeed a C in Animal Breeding is something to be concerned about.

Now the man who wants to shrink the federal government just enough to fit inside my vagina is complaining that Obama isn’t doing enough to stop the flood of immigrant children coming across the border illegally.

Evidently the only children Rick cares about are the ones who haven’t been born yet. Once they are here – screw ‘em!

Thank goodness the clock on Perry’s record time as Governor of Texas is running out. Sadly, it means he will most likely run for President again. If you think I am wrong, check out his new look.

Women don’t make passes at men who wear glasses to try and look smarter. Give it up Rick. We all remember the ‘Oops.’

Sadly for us, the man most likely to replace him in Texas is even more anxious to get in my knickers than Rick was. Do a little research on Greg Abbott folks. He is the real deal when it comes to crazy.

He is suing Obama over the border issues. He hates those children too, I guess. In fact, the only thing Greg Abbott seems to hate more than immigrant children is the ability for women to limit the number of unwanted children they bring into the world.

This Republican conundrum is troubling indeed – which comes first, the chicken or the vagina?

Margaret, dear, my work on this earth is not done. Texas needs another woman in the State Capitol. I’m for Wendy.* I mean it. Really.


*Wendy Davis is a candidate in the Texas governor’s race, whose candidacy plus a famous filibuster of a late term abortion bill in the Texas state senate, along with the changing demographics increased the number of Hispanics, creates hope that Democrats can change the political complexion of the Lone Star State, which has been a solid Republican bastion for almost two decades.

Helen Philpot is a national treasure, whose 60 years of friendship with Margaret Schmechtman has produced the incredibly enlightening blog known as www.margaretandhelen.com ~ where this article originally appeared on July 11, 2014.   

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