Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary. One of my older neighbors likes to tease us and said something like, “Ah, you kids are practically newlyweds compared to me and my wife. Knew from the minute I saw her I wanted to marry her and 55 years later she’s still my favorite girl.” I am astonished that such a thing is possible. Just like that? Wow.
Maybe older people, like my neighbor, were more romantic than many couples today. Eyes met, bells went off and zonk! They just knew they were meant for one another. And even if they weren’t, not many bolted because there was this thing called commitment. They said what they meant and meant what they said. Besides, back in the day, you just hung in there like everybody else.
On the other hand, maybe these people had more faith in relationships. You met someone, decided after two weeks you liked each other, dated for about six months and of course you got married by the end of the year. That’s just the way it was done, even if you didn’t have money or a job. What’s to think about?
But it’s different today. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, except for many dating couples I know, it just is different. They say stuff like, “We’re just seeing how it goes for now and not rushing things” or “We like things the way they are so why change anything”? Well, okay, except some of these people have been “not rushing things” for over seven or eight years. I guess they, too, say what they mean and mean what they say.
Are people today more reluctant to make a commitment to someone than in past generations? Yes, disappointing past experiences can make us proceed with caution about promising new ones. But after eight years of still getting to know each other, maybe it’s time for a heart to heart about what each other may really want.
Maybe it’s not a relationship after all, but just the illusion of one.
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