by Corinne Wnek
Its five days after the Oscar’s, Hollywood’s biggest night to honor themselves, and I’m still whining about why I don’t look like Jennifer Aniston. Then I realize this is simply the wrong venue for me in which to comparison shop. Maybe the world of politics is what I should focus on. After all, politicians have their own big night to honor their own, too. It’s called elections. I’m starting to feel a little better about myself already because Nancy Pelosi doesn’t look anything like Jennifer Aniston either.
Now if Oscars were given out to politicians, I can think of a few candidates who would be up at the podium thanking the Academy. First on the list might be New York’s Mayor Bloomberg who would win in the category of “politician who best addressed the obesity problem of those living in his city.”
Bloomberg’s dogged determination to limit the size of soft drinks that could be sold in restaurants was genius. Because of the staggering amount of weight that New Yorkers have dropped since this idea went into effect, New York City is now several more feet above sea level than it was in previous years.
There can be no doubt that in the category of “best looking politician on the national stage,” Mitt Romney is the hands down winner, edging out tough talking cowboy Rick Perry. Although Mitt was overheard telling supporters that he was flattered to win, he stressed that he would rather focus on our country’s issues. But he did not hesitate to mention that, yes, during the debates, he was wearing Armani couture.
The “best imitation of a tough guy award” would have to go to our own governor, Chris Christie. Although famous for his fiery temper, Christie will now have to prove his toughness all over again after giving a compassionate performance before state residents in the aftermath of Sandy’s destruction. And whipping out that donut on the Letterman show just made him seem all the more like the funny, lovable lug we know him to be deep down inside.
Without question the final coveted prize for “a politician who can make something out of nothing” goes to Barack Obama simply for pulling off his re-election. No jobs, no solutions, no birth certificate, mounting debt amid fiscal cliffs and Mitt waves bye-bye as he goes down in flames. Love him or not, President Obama is a modern day Houdini.
So no more sulking about Jennifer Aniston’s great genes for me. I’m sticking closer to home and actually think I’m pretty much up there with another pretty terrific woman I can actually relate to, Barbara Buono.
She gets the award for “politician most willing to put her money where her mouth is.”
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